Are you dreading the prospect of being stuck around the Thanksgiving table chit-chatting with narrative believers? Here are twelve communication tips I’ve wrung out of my own, often failed, experiments to awaken the menticided.
Thank-you for this post. I've noticed sometimes when I bring it up, the response is anger. Not directed at me, but so intense, I find myself wishing I didn't mention it. Good to keep a perspective.
MAA thanks for linking to the mickey z intvu which i missed first time around. you may have brought this up before, but it hit me upside the head when you mentioned the simple fact that in a crisis, everyone typically joins forces and unites - and that the nonstop divide-and-conquer of the plandemic runs completely contrary to that. logically, and logistically and historically.
btw he was an early victim of hospital ventilator protocols
and peggy hall has a characteristically funny video for anyone dreading this thanksgiving, she echoes a lot of what you're talking about here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Albxy9mfrEs
Thank you so much for catching that, nymusicdaily! I originally used the video my friend sent me but have now added John Prines’s beautiful performance with a hat tip to you :-) And yes, I do recall John was another tragic victim of hospicide 😭
Nov 22, 2023·edited Nov 22, 2023Liked by Margaret Anna Alice
Great list! Number 1 for me is to have a genuine curiosity regarding their views. I’m typically quick to jump in and express mine, and I’ve found that rarely wins any arguments, let alone friends. Take a deep breath, smile, and speak slowly. “Tell me more about that.” And if necessary, just let it go.
With our family (not many left so our gatherings are small or just us these days) my wife and I generally try to keep it friendly, not talking, politics, religion, news of war, or rumors of war. We like to ask about what is going on in their lives. But sometimes people do bring up subjects that make people uncomfortable. Those events are where the content of this substack article becomes valuable. Still, some just want to pick fights. Agreeing to disagree may not be accepted. My brother is one of those. With him and a couple others I usually try to get them out into nature for a walk in the fields and woods. Quiet time listening to nature is calming. The walk is nice for digesting a big meal.
I think the last 3+ years have been hard on families. I know many who don't talk to each other and won't have them in their homes. All one can do is let them be, but keep the door open if they want to reconnect. I believe the division of everyone against each other is spiritual warfare perpetrated by the same evil forces that brought is the virus, the jabs, the economic woes, and wars.. We have to refuse to play their game.
All great points and the resources are excellent. Beyond excellent. I have learned much and have had many of my own perceptions and actions confirmed by your points and resources.
I have one caution, though, about point 5. Recently I've been exploring the role of narcissism in my life (mother) and that has now extended into society in general. In a recent discussion the likely low estimate is that about 25% of the population is narcissistic with a smaller percent being actively malevolent. Point 5 is actually kind of potentially dangerous in the event that part of the family dynamic is narcissistic abuse, and that perhaps 10% or more of 'us' will be in the category of having been traumatised in that way.
You may find this relatively short interview an interesting take on that, if this is relatively new to, or lightly researched by, you. "The Collective Denial of [the] Evil [of Narcissism] and its Impact on Psychiatric Treatment - Sheri Heller with Tracy Malone.
In my last essay I explore the narcissistic roots of Catholicism and compare the equivalency of that to contemporary events. And like you, I found Sarah's video perfectly timed for that essay. I have begun to think that, like the presence of venom in medicine and in particular convidiana, that narcissism is a really big player in the powerful and in the obedient that is at best lightly talked about. If interested, here is the link.
Thank you for this perceptive caveat, Guy, and it is particularly timely given that I have spent the last several months immersing myself in books about narcissism, high-conflict/toxic personalities, and psycho/sociopaths after my own experience of becoming the active target of a covert passive-aggressive narcissist with paranoid delusions and histrionic personality disorder:
I thought I had a fairly good handle on narcissism until I experienced it personally and gained an empirical understanding of the crazy-making projections of these malicious, spotlight-craving pathological liars. Once I started reading more deeply about it, I realized how formulaic the patterns of behavior are and that they all use the same playbook repeatedly, so it becomes easier to identify them once you know what to look for. I found these books especially illuminating if you haven’t yet read them:
Nov 22, 2023·edited Nov 22, 2023Liked by Margaret Anna Alice
Hola.
Fantastico, muchas gracias!
And as I was looking for something else last night, I came across Meadow DeVor's podcast on YouTube. You are a fantastic organiser and sharer of resources. You may find her interesting and worth adding to the list. She has a lovely and pointed approach, from my original look.
This is good stuff, I only wish you'd done it last week as it covers so much. I did have some ideas from other postings, but like many in this so will take from it what can be used simply as it's my first festive event in many years, and I'm the only non vaxxed attendee, and they know it by my cancellation last year. I had to explain this year when invited that it wasn't over whether anyone was or how they felt about it, but not wanting to get blamed for anyone getting covid for me not being vaxxed. Most seem to want to forget it and just move on, and unless it comes up may just roll with it that way. If it does enter the conversation I will now be loaded for bear!
I woke up to the reality of tyranny in America 32 years ago. Although I have no difficulty remembering what I was like before, I won't have any opportunity to be around narrative believers. No one in my family will ever invite me to Thanksgiving or Christmas gatherings. It used to be possible to have "family togetherness" before my parents passed. Not no more.
"I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did. ... The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to."
Nov 22, 2023·edited Nov 22, 2023Liked by Margaret Anna Alice
Only reason NYT ran an article blaming lockdowns for the crappy performance of govt run commie schools is to have something to blame besides their crappy SJW teachers. As a teacher myself, there is NOTHING I did in a classroom that parents couldn't have done at home BETTER at home bc they had less students.
Currently, I truly savor holiday gatherings. life, liberty & freedom loving friends & select family are soothing to the soul & the only are invited into my home on such occasions. Life is too short to suffer fools who prefer to see you dead since it helps 'the cause'. But I do agree, humor is great. I loved this, South Park clip included;
Put a Chick in it and Make Her Gay. And Lame. Are we hag-ridden? Yes, yes we are.
Excerpt:
You’ve demanded so much money for social justice, we are broke ten times over, and risk a Weimar Germany hellscape. Your repulsive politicians have enabled criminal cartels to loot the public purse. We are being invaded by millions of military-aged men on the border, and at the border, hundreds of thousands of women and children are raped and being sold into sex slavery. Women – most women – have zero consciousness of any of this. Almost one hundred thousand children have vanished into the sex trade. But they want the border open because COMPASSION. Never mind the sharp uptick of crime, sooner or later, honey, you are going to want a gun and a man because the world you created – go girl – is so dangerous…. ~
The quality of your life is dictated by the quality of the questions you ask. Asking questions is much more effective than "telling". The person's response let's you know whether they are totally opposite to your worldview, whether they are aligned, or whether they are open to learning.
This so true Ely! My 'asking skills' have gone through a rigorous workout these past few years and now it saves me a lot of angst. I'm sure I identify the other person's beliefs/views/opinions long before they have ever thought about what mine are. In fact, by asking questions, I'm sure most people just assume I'm aligned with what they believe as I (mostly) no longer have it in me to present my views. I just like to be aware of the company I'm with so I can navigate through it as easily as possible. And then decide if I need to remove said person from my list of people I want to spend time with.
If we only knew how many hours and how much sweat went into this!!!!
This will forever be a tool on my tool belt for sharing my perspective on the last three years.
Save stuff people! In ten years you’re going to sound crazy to people when the world has forgotten what happened. You’ll be known as the anti-vax cuke if you don’t explain yourself and present data well.
Three more gentile red pill links. Vaccine listed excipient ingredients from CDC site and two Sharyl Attkisson Tedtalk videos about dirty Pharma plays and truth about Fake News
Fantastic! We are having my husband’s family stay with us for thanksgiving. I’m the only family me who understands the Covid shots ( and other vaccines) are poison. It’s always a little stressful for me because no one is informed and they have all gotten multiple shots and boosters (including husband)
Thank-you for this post. I've noticed sometimes when I bring it up, the response is anger. Not directed at me, but so intense, I find myself wishing I didn't mention it. Good to keep a perspective.
MAA thanks for linking to the mickey z intvu which i missed first time around. you may have brought this up before, but it hit me upside the head when you mentioned the simple fact that in a crisis, everyone typically joins forces and unites - and that the nonstop divide-and-conquer of the plandemic runs completely contrary to that. logically, and logistically and historically.
you probably know the john prine version of that's how every empire falls https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hsu2oASd6x8
btw he was an early victim of hospital ventilator protocols
and peggy hall has a characteristically funny video for anyone dreading this thanksgiving, she echoes a lot of what you're talking about here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Albxy9mfrEs
Thank you so much for catching that, nymusicdaily! I originally used the video my friend sent me but have now added John Prines’s beautiful performance with a hat tip to you :-) And yes, I do recall John was another tragic victim of hospicide 😭
thanks, glad to see you giving a well deserved shout to rb morris too!
Great list! Number 1 for me is to have a genuine curiosity regarding their views. I’m typically quick to jump in and express mine, and I’ve found that rarely wins any arguments, let alone friends. Take a deep breath, smile, and speak slowly. “Tell me more about that.” And if necessary, just let it go.
Truly excellent advice!
To my mind, the most valuable nuggets are the controlling of one's emotions, planting seeds of doubt and using humour to diffuse any tension.
Tangentially, another superb Adam Curtis documentary is The Power of Nighmares (2004).
Red-pilling others is a thankless, almost impossible mission. That we try at all is proof of our love for our fellow humans.
"Just as you can always lead horses to water
but can't make them drink
you can lead people to sources of knowledge
but you can't make them see or listen or read
and you certainly can't make them think."
Happy Thanksgiving!
With our family (not many left so our gatherings are small or just us these days) my wife and I generally try to keep it friendly, not talking, politics, religion, news of war, or rumors of war. We like to ask about what is going on in their lives. But sometimes people do bring up subjects that make people uncomfortable. Those events are where the content of this substack article becomes valuable. Still, some just want to pick fights. Agreeing to disagree may not be accepted. My brother is one of those. With him and a couple others I usually try to get them out into nature for a walk in the fields and woods. Quiet time listening to nature is calming. The walk is nice for digesting a big meal.
I think the last 3+ years have been hard on families. I know many who don't talk to each other and won't have them in their homes. All one can do is let them be, but keep the door open if they want to reconnect. I believe the division of everyone against each other is spiritual warfare perpetrated by the same evil forces that brought is the virus, the jabs, the economic woes, and wars.. We have to refuse to play their game.
Thank you MAA.
All great points and the resources are excellent. Beyond excellent. I have learned much and have had many of my own perceptions and actions confirmed by your points and resources.
I have one caution, though, about point 5. Recently I've been exploring the role of narcissism in my life (mother) and that has now extended into society in general. In a recent discussion the likely low estimate is that about 25% of the population is narcissistic with a smaller percent being actively malevolent. Point 5 is actually kind of potentially dangerous in the event that part of the family dynamic is narcissistic abuse, and that perhaps 10% or more of 'us' will be in the category of having been traumatised in that way.
You may find this relatively short interview an interesting take on that, if this is relatively new to, or lightly researched by, you. "The Collective Denial of [the] Evil [of Narcissism] and its Impact on Psychiatric Treatment - Sheri Heller with Tracy Malone.
https://youtu.be/pPVSSWV1_pE
In my last essay I explore the narcissistic roots of Catholicism and compare the equivalency of that to contemporary events. And like you, I found Sarah's video perfectly timed for that essay. I have begun to think that, like the presence of venom in medicine and in particular convidiana, that narcissism is a really big player in the powerful and in the obedient that is at best lightly talked about. If interested, here is the link.
"Touching the Cause of Water: Koan Diving into the Unknown Ere the Baptismal Water Got Dirty" https://gduperreault.substack.com/p/touching-the-cause-of-water
Thank you for your great work here and for your voice in this time of the great awakening. This is a great resource so I've put it into a note.
Thank you for this perceptive caveat, Guy, and it is particularly timely given that I have spent the last several months immersing myself in books about narcissism, high-conflict/toxic personalities, and psycho/sociopaths after my own experience of becoming the active target of a covert passive-aggressive narcissist with paranoid delusions and histrionic personality disorder:
• “How to Be an Upstander” (https://margaretannaalice.substack.com/p/how-to-be-an-upstander)
I thought I had a fairly good handle on narcissism until I experienced it personally and gained an empirical understanding of the crazy-making projections of these malicious, spotlight-craving pathological liars. Once I started reading more deeply about it, I realized how formulaic the patterns of behavior are and that they all use the same playbook repeatedly, so it becomes easier to identify them once you know what to look for. I found these books especially illuminating if you haven’t yet read them:
• In Sheep’s Clothing
• 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
• The Narcissist’s Playbook
• The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist
• Psychopath Free
• The Sociopath Next Door
• Don’t You Know Who I Am?
Substacks:
• Meredith Miller (https://meredithmiller.substack.com/)
• Nathalie Martinek (https://nathaliemartinekphd.substack.com/)
• Josh Slocum (https://disaffectedpod.substack.com/)
🙌
👏
👏
👏
Hands clapping (in case you missed my imojies) 😂
Hola.
Fantastico, muchas gracias!
And as I was looking for something else last night, I came across Meadow DeVor's podcast on YouTube. You are a fantastic organiser and sharer of resources. You may find her interesting and worth adding to the list. She has a lovely and pointed approach, from my original look.
https://www.youtube.com/@meadowdevor. I look at one of more of the resources you have provided.
(And thank you for reading my look at how the origins of Catholicism followed the same patterns of narcissistic manipulation!)
9) Make the conversation fun and leaven it with humor.
People will actively avoid anything that causes them pain (e.g., cognitive dissonance) while seeking out opportunities for pleasure.
Hmm, you think telling a few jokes gett'n to the point and if they disagree start hitt'n em over the head with a 2x4 is a bad idea?
This is good stuff, I only wish you'd done it last week as it covers so much. I did have some ideas from other postings, but like many in this so will take from it what can be used simply as it's my first festive event in many years, and I'm the only non vaxxed attendee, and they know it by my cancellation last year. I had to explain this year when invited that it wasn't over whether anyone was or how they felt about it, but not wanting to get blamed for anyone getting covid for me not being vaxxed. Most seem to want to forget it and just move on, and unless it comes up may just roll with it that way. If it does enter the conversation I will now be loaded for bear!
I woke up to the reality of tyranny in America 32 years ago. Although I have no difficulty remembering what I was like before, I won't have any opportunity to be around narrative believers. No one in my family will ever invite me to Thanksgiving or Christmas gatherings. It used to be possible to have "family togetherness" before my parents passed. Not no more.
"I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did. ... The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to."
Only reason NYT ran an article blaming lockdowns for the crappy performance of govt run commie schools is to have something to blame besides their crappy SJW teachers. As a teacher myself, there is NOTHING I did in a classroom that parents couldn't have done at home BETTER at home bc they had less students.
Currently, I truly savor holiday gatherings. life, liberty & freedom loving friends & select family are soothing to the soul & the only are invited into my home on such occasions. Life is too short to suffer fools who prefer to see you dead since it helps 'the cause'. But I do agree, humor is great. I loved this, South Park clip included;
Put a Chick in it and Make Her Gay. And Lame. Are we hag-ridden? Yes, yes we are.
Excerpt:
You’ve demanded so much money for social justice, we are broke ten times over, and risk a Weimar Germany hellscape. Your repulsive politicians have enabled criminal cartels to loot the public purse. We are being invaded by millions of military-aged men on the border, and at the border, hundreds of thousands of women and children are raped and being sold into sex slavery. Women – most women – have zero consciousness of any of this. Almost one hundred thousand children have vanished into the sex trade. But they want the border open because COMPASSION. Never mind the sharp uptick of crime, sooner or later, honey, you are going to want a gun and a man because the world you created – go girl – is so dangerous…. ~
https://elizabethnickson.substack.com/p/put-a-chick-in-it-and-make-her-gay?publication_id=30495&post_id=138919377&isFreemail=false&r=9atnc
The quality of your life is dictated by the quality of the questions you ask. Asking questions is much more effective than "telling". The person's response let's you know whether they are totally opposite to your worldview, whether they are aligned, or whether they are open to learning.
This so true Ely! My 'asking skills' have gone through a rigorous workout these past few years and now it saves me a lot of angst. I'm sure I identify the other person's beliefs/views/opinions long before they have ever thought about what mine are. In fact, by asking questions, I'm sure most people just assume I'm aligned with what they believe as I (mostly) no longer have it in me to present my views. I just like to be aware of the company I'm with so I can navigate through it as easily as possible. And then decide if I need to remove said person from my list of people I want to spend time with.
Great tips for Xmas, too 🙏
This. is. …gold!!!!
If we only knew how many hours and how much sweat went into this!!!!
This will forever be a tool on my tool belt for sharing my perspective on the last three years.
Save stuff people! In ten years you’re going to sound crazy to people when the world has forgotten what happened. You’ll be known as the anti-vax cuke if you don’t explain yourself and present data well.
Great compilation!
Three more gentile red pill links. Vaccine listed excipient ingredients from CDC site and two Sharyl Attkisson Tedtalk videos about dirty Pharma plays and truth about Fake News
... Appendix B for the Pink Book-Vaccine Excipient Summary https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/b/excipient-table-2.pdf
Astroturf and manipulation of media messages | Sharyl Attkisson | TEDxUniversityofNevada - YouTube
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-bYAQ-ZZtEU
How Real Is Fake News? | Sharyl Attkisson | TEDxUniversityofNevada - YouTube
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UQcCIzjz9_s&pp=QAFIAQ%3D%3D
Fantastic! We are having my husband’s family stay with us for thanksgiving. I’m the only family me who understands the Covid shots ( and other vaccines) are poison. It’s always a little stressful for me because no one is informed and they have all gotten multiple shots and boosters (including husband)
So thank you for this thoughtful resource
Yes!!!
Dead nuts on!!!
Completely.
Thank you 🩷